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PurplePhoneixStar

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Been awhile since I really updated something here but as my time sitting in about 8 square feet 50 hours a week draws to a close. I have been living on these songs: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rf4euAs7LY8 and https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBgp5aDH23g


Although I have said it is a stressful day if this comes out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9c2WTCj0Pk and frankly I have days where I played it straight though, the whole 10 hours. If I am Karaokeeing 00s Emo rock to a questionable skill level, it's a good day.


I look forward to the summer term break so to say and the fact that beyond fighting with the Kentucky Unemployment office to answer their goddamned phones so I can get the stuff they need to freaking log in and make a claim. This will give you a nice ideahttps://www.wdrb.com/in-depth/kentucky-unemployment-line-still-hanging-up-on-people-trying-to-regain-access-to-accounts/article_917bde6c-9ee9-11eb-8aa0-037fbfbcb363.html but in reality our governor likes hearing himself talk about people with coronavirus and who died of it DAILY on TV than actually you know, seeing to something that affects well over 350000 of our state. I say this because that was about the peak of Unemployed in my state. And even if they are back to work they need the tax document so if they waited until the 15th to start filing or even now to try and get in, well fuck that shit. You ain't gettting it and ain't getting what you need. (Oh boy the wrath of the IRS as many will just leave it off..... like I said, tax pro and by god I want to just throttle my governor into the ground as much as he mishandles this stuff. The IRS has ways to verify you, private sectors do when signing tax returns digitally, so yeah, it's not like you have to make it this hard.



But you did not come here to read about my rants on how KY's governor made himself hated in a fraction of the time his very hated predecessor did. (Took the current guy one month. Literally 95% of our counties because Second Amendment sancutraries based on what the governor said he'd back in a very controversial bill. That's quite an achievement. One month and you're hated. The COVID situation dug his hatred deeper by many in the populace. But that's just summarizing it Not what you came here for)


June will start my final semester of college. When I am done with this, I will have my BA in accouting. I am currently looking at Graduate programs, thinking on if I need to go CPA or MBA or both. Heck there's joint JD/MBA programs I could also maybe try to get CPA as well. I already have the EA after my name, why not go the gammot and have more?


But at the same time it's like "Why? Why work yourself to death?" Money? Sometimes it can be rather unfufilling. I'm better than I had it before with this, but I'm like "Why?" I could use it to get bigger companies to invest in this region, one so overlooked it's criminal. Heck people pay attention to the inner city more. I have grimly said Appalachia and Inner City have many the same fundemental problems just different backgrounds. Like Poverty Grey or Green editions. Once again, not this topic.


But as for the moment I will keep an eye on the wonderful things summer brings like warmer weather, lower power bills, and time to myself to sleep and try and undo the damage working a desk job 50 hours a week does to your waistline. On the 15th I will be in PA with my mom and brother then a week out west. Still trying to figure out things to do there in the Utah and Las Vegas areas. Heck I am so cooped up I don't mind TSA as much of a pain they can be. Heck I got a new suitcase for the trip and learned well the last time that while Samsonite cases from the 80s have that retro cool feel, they are heavy as hell once you load them up and back in the 80s you didn't have to pay 5 bucks to rent a cart to take your bags from the car to the check in area. Southwest is awesome, fair price and one free check bag, don't fly Spirit if you can help it. Unless you are very good at preparing for stuffing all your life in a backpack. Not cool.

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Just an update

2 min read

So back during the Quarentine I started really watching Hetalia. (And find out there's a new season coming in Spring 21 has me excited. ) Today I'm at home not doing much and figured, hey I haven't watched my Histeria DVDs in awhile so after I had binged a little Hetalia I put in Histeria. And put it on the World War 2 episode. Oh boy...... the Yalta Conference one I could pretty much imagine a Hetalia meeting going like that just because Histeria was aimed at the kids and they only got away with David Farragut saying "Damn the torpedos" because it was historically accurate. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Farragut Fun fact, Farragut served under Matthew Perry in the Mexican American war. Now that relates to this discussion because Matthew Perry led the expeidention that opened Japan up to the rest of the world. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matthew_C._Perry


Heck I have said to people that Hetalia is what happens when you mix Histeria with Drunk History. And with those being two shows I really like....well....


Funny thing is about a month ago I had a US history course I had to do for college and was working on the assignments, I often had Hetalia playing in the background. Got excellence certificates for the assignments I handed in. So assignments I half ass while watching an anime with enough historical content to be considered historical satire, I get an award for it. Never mind when I was doing the work for the chapters on the Cold War, I could not stop laughing when perestrika was mentioned. (Being a big RusAme shipper did not help this one bit)


As for serious topics, I got a promotion at work and it starts on the 16th. I don't know how this will go as I will be helping the people who help customers but I do know I will get a pay raise. I'm going to be making 27 an hour and in peak that's going to pay well with overtime. :iconimhappyplz: Part of the reason I am looking to get my one fic The Longing of the Heart https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13716876/1/The-Longing-of-the-Heart finished.

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.......It's finally got it.




It's been how long since I've had a day off? How long since I haven't had someone going psycho at me for something like a limit placed on how much you can get because of panic buying profiteers? How many days since I hadn't been reminded of how bad everything is in the world right now? How there is a real chance that anything I have ever worked for could be all for not if this keeps going the way it is? 

Oh but I'm being selfish because other people lost their jobs and you still have one. Says people who have something to lose if I lose it all. Now they did extend tax season to July 15th BUT my job hasn't said anything to me yet. So I'm not counting on that. People keep saying "Fuck it" to any attempts to quarentine and try and control this. So the idea that maybe, just maybe if I suffer this crap out, in summer it will be a semblance of normal is just gone. So it's just "Keep working keep working just keep going on" Yeah great but what the fuck for douchebag? Please let  me know what the hell I'm doing this shit for if it is just going to collapse anyway. And if I do get work through July, great. But, ummmmmmmmm yeah that's a few more months of this work thing. I'm going to have to tell one to sot off. And it ain't TurboTax. 

I seriously doubt those stimulus checks are going to come. Congress will just jerk each other off and pass nothing. And I'm selfish for feeling like this I know. Others have it worse. 

So what you're telling me is to use Shadenfrude to overcome this? Nice. Real Nice. Somehow that doesn't seem right. I know from past years when I've felt bad that going "At least I have......" in the face of a problem that is rather insurmountable doesn't do much. Bandaid at best. But unless you can change the root, nothing is going to change. 

"All we can do is go on day by day"


Great yeah but I already sold my soul for the almighty dollar so you could have this all, you thought that was healthy? Or I had found a way to cope with that and something of this magnitue comes along and wrecks it all? I had built my self worth on what I could provide because I have nothing else to really be proud of. I'm not good at anything else and no one the fuck cares anyway. I lock myself away because I know you couldn't really care what I do or what I'm into or you don't like it so I don't force myself on you. If it was just me, I would be fine. No one else to worry about who really don't fucking care anyway. 

Because when someone is having a crisis trying to figure everything out in a massive shift, pointing out things like "You got a good job" kind of doesn't help much as guess what this crisis is because all I am is my job and that is uncertain of what will happen in the long term. and "Stop being a pussy you think you're the only one feeling this way? You're the only one who feels like their world is crashing around them?"

I know I'm not but I also know I need help. And you saying that ain't helping. 

The fact I have to go to people online to talk about this who won't fucking judge me or say I'm being petty as shit, yeah. Maybe there are others there with it harder but damn you, telling me that won't help me figure out a way to get over this shit!

So anyone have any ideas, please let me know. Otherwise, I'm going to find some old orange juice and make some prison wine and hopefully have picked up coronavirus so I can be in a hospital away from it all. Ironcially in the belly of the beast but if I can put the TV on some channel that isn't CNN or the like, I'm fine. I can numb myself till it's gone. And fiscally wouldn't be that bad, I got the PTO.







Crisis when you were covering up your pitful self worth that was facaded by having the bills paid is not a good thing. Here's hoping the liquor stores stay open. 

Wait I have to stay funcitonal. I'm too important because I make the money. 

Fuck this. 






Well check out my other accounts:
Youtube:www.youtube.com/user/PhoenixAn…
Fanfiction:www.fanfiction.net/u/1203530/o…
Facebook:www.facebook.com/people/Kyrie-…
Photobucket: s258.photobucket.com/albums/hh…
Fictionpress: www.fictionpress.com/u/609136/


Clubs I'm in:



My plz account:

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So far....

5 min read
It's okay. Nothing too much going on in life to write about. I've gone through the usual strife in the summer that I do. Just honestly more depressed about being as qualified as I am and having to tell people "Read the screen, did you answer the question..." You know those kind of things that make retail hell. And you wonder how these people manage to walk and breathe at the same time. Or am I really that smart of a person. Last time my IQ was tested I was 133 but that was when I was in the 8th grade. However you take that number and they say it's in the top 2% of people. www.i3mindware.com/mensa-requi…

Last week I had finished a test for my one class I was nervous about and I will admit, I didn't study that hard. I half did it while I was writing fanfic chapters waiting for calls on my TurboTax job that I had about 2 weeks work recently on, which really helped things. With my summer Food City grocery store job, I get by but with TurboTax, I thrive. Now if I could only work that job year round..... But back to the musing, when I took the test I did pass but I was very nervous. The mentor I have that WGU assigns to you to help keep you on track as it is a self paced degree program said most people didn't pass the first time on the main test. I did bomb the preassessment the first time but that's to help get you an idea of how well you know things and the course instructors said to review these certain items before you take the test and I did that and took it. I was like "I just read over the study aids and it really helped......" I don't know, there's been many times someone said I was smart and I was like, "I just read the book." or whatever. 

Although ignoring pay, I like the TurboTax job of mine better because I actually use my brain more than Food City. I mean think on it, fixing Tax issues takes more thought than ringing people out. 

Now moving on from me yaking about my brain, I have been watching a few animes that I had half read the mangas on, like Bleach and Death Note. Those I both read so far on the manga but didn't finish it and with Netflix I had been able to catch up somewhat. Netflix doesn't have all of Bleach, so I got to after they saved Rukia. I have to say the Bleach wiki is pretty good to help fill you in. That's where I found out about Ichika Abarai and Kazui Kurosaki and have to say that Ichika is so cute and RukiaxRenji is my OTP in that fandom. And with Death Note I am a Teru Mikami fangirl. 

But I've also watched some Hetalia and say I want my own Magic Metal Pipe of Pain. 

I've broken the replay button on this video..... I do have to say with how they personified America, I'm laughing "They got our number" like Homer in Americatown when they go to Japan. 


Well that's me updating to not have the same journal for over a year. 



Well check out my other accounts:
Youtube:www.youtube.com/user/PhoenixAn…
Fanfiction:www.fanfiction.net/u/1203530/o…
Facebook:www.facebook.com/people/Kyrie-…
Photobucket: s258.photobucket.com/albums/hh…
Fictionpress: www.fictionpress.com/u/609136/


Clubs I'm in:

:iconsasuhina-club: :iconhsm-haters-fc::iconitachi-love-com::iconchouino::iconantijonas-fc::icongrim-tales-fan-club::iconchouji-x-ino::iconitahina-fc::iconjhonen-club::iconantihannahmontana-fc::iconweliketracey::iconanti-mary-sues-club::icongetwatchers::iconitakon-fanclub::iconfanfiction-authors:

My plz account:

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..... and realize it once you sat down and can't put it back...... (and you have bouts of nausea from something you ate before that.....)



Well my metophor for how I am feeling right now. I have two jobs at the moment. One is on  the weekends to keep it up while I work my TurboTax job, the TurboTax job obviously and my schooling. Three big things that demand a good bit of attention and my effort and sanity. And they eat at my time to get my sanity back from each other. The schooling doesn't frazzle me as much as work. I mean I would fucking love to just go to school for the rest of my life. I feel my best when I am achedemically showing people up and getting good grades. Yes I am that pathetic. My selfworth is defined by achedemic performace. Yes I know that's pretty shallow and stupid. But it also doesn't help that subconciously I am still trying to come to terms with my dad's death and any of the things we'd normally do in a funeral or whatever have you I couldn't do when it happened because guess what, had to look for fucking work! I vowed to myself to never give up my love of fanart and writing as they are my thing that I want to keep as a hobby and never want to lock away because I got too wrapped up in work but by fucking god, I fear that is the case. No I am not leaving if I can help it! I will help it but damn, this whole thing is just overwhelming me and next time someone on their high horse tries to tell me "Oh I worked hard with this and this and I'm still okay....." you know the type, I am going to sock in the face. I am not demanding someone pay me 100 million to do nothing but by god, a weekend? A vacation? Time to grieve and some sanity? Can I ask that out of life and not be considered a pussy? Well this seems to be my theme song now:

I was walking down the street when out the corner of my eye
I saw a pretty little thing approaching me
She said, "I never seen a man, who looks so all alone
And could you use a little company?
If you can pay the right price, your evening will be nice
But you can go and send me on my way"
I said, "You're such a sweet young thing, why you do this to yourself?"
She looked at me and this is what she said
Oh there ain't no rest for the wicked
Money don't grow on trees
I got bills to pay, I got mouths to feed
There ain't nothing in this world for free
Oh no, I can't slow down, I can't hold back
Though you know, I wish I could
Oh no there ain't no rest for the wicked
Until we close our eyes for good
Not even fifteen minutes later after walking down the street
When I saw the shadow of a man creep out out of sight
And then he swept up from behind, he put a gun up to my head
He made it clear he wasn't looking for a fight
He said, "Give me all you've got, I want your money not your life
But if you try to make a move I won't think twice"
I told him, "You can have my cash, but first you know I gotta ask
What made you want to live this kind of life?"
He said
Oh there ain't no rest for the wicked
Money don't grow on trees
I got bills to pay, I got mouths to feed
There ain't nothing in this world for free
Oh no, I can't slow down, I can't hold back
Though you know, I wish I could
Oh no there ain't no rest for the wicked
Until we close our eyes for good
Well now a couple hours past and I was sitting in my house
The day was winding down and coming to an end
And so I turned on the TV and flipped it over to the news
And what I saw I almost couldn't comprehend
I saw a preacher man in cuffs, he'd taken money from the church
He'd stuffed his bank account with righteous dollar bills
But even still I can't say much because I know we're all the same
Oh yes we all seek out to satisfy those thrills
Oh there ain't no rest for the wicked
Money don't grow on trees
We got bills to pay, we got mouths to feed
There ain't nothing in this world for free
Oh no we can't slow down, we can't hold back
Though you know we wish we could
Oh no there ain't no rest for the wicked
Until we close our eyes for good


Aint no rest for the wicked by Cage the Elephant 
Just kind of had to get that rant off my chest so if it made no sense, well my feelings make no sense to me right now so yeah. But I do know it is toxic to keep to myself. So my random people on Deviantart, it's there for you to ignore.



Well check out my other accounts:
Youtube:www.youtube.com/user/PhoenixAn…
Fanfiction:www.fanfiction.net/u/1203530/o…
Facebook:www.facebook.com/people/Kyrie-…
Photobucket: s258.photobucket.com/albums/hh…
Fictionpress: www.fictionpress.com/u/609136/


Clubs I'm in:

:iconsasuhina-club: :iconhsm-haters-fc::iconitachi-love-com::iconchouino::iconantijonas-fc::icongrim-tales-fan-club::iconchouji-x-ino::iconitahina-fc::iconjhonen-club::iconantihannahmontana-fc::iconweliketracey::iconanti-mary-sues-club::icongetwatchers::iconitakon-fanclub::iconfanfiction-authors:

My plz account:

:iconagkplz::iconchumleeplz::iconcainrapeface-plz::iconmacecopplz:
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